PediatricDigest: when connecting to your child is HARD

Hi Friend,

At Bloom, we often discuss the importance of connecting with your child, really getting 'in sync'. Its a tool that can boost cooperation, decrease distractibility, and most importantly strengthen your relationship with your child in a deep and meaningful way.

In fact, connection can often be the key to getting through even the most challenging parenting moments.

Like we have mentioned before, it doesn't have to be a long hug, but it's about small nuances like emotional energy and body language that can make a world of a difference.

The problem is that it all sounds good on paper, but where many of us get stuck is at the implementation stage :)

Figuring out exactly HOW to connect with our children can be overwhelming and confusing, especially when its not something that comes naturally to you (and that's ok!)

In fact, these tools are hugely helpful whenever a parent is having a hard time building their relationship with their child- whether its because the child doesnt seem to be responding or because their behavior is so challenging that it hurts you in a deeply emotional way.

So here's a snippet from our Parenting Toolkit with a sneak peak into what we call the 'Attunement Parameters' (a term that I first heard from my mentor, Kimberly Barthel OTR).

These are 4 simple, easy-to-implement habits you can implement into your daily interactions that will help you start connecting with your child throughout the day in a truly meaningful way.

Look Interested

Look into your child's eyes in a friendly way, and use body language that shows that you are listenining (for example, you could lean forward slightly towards her when he is speaking to you.) Use your hands and facial expressions to show that you are listening and interested in what he is saying. It is important to note that some children struggle with eye contact. If that is the case with your child, don't demand it. Just being available for eye contact when they feel comfortable is great.

Body Position + Body Contact

Allow your body to be open to your child- face her with your arms uncrossed. Some children respond well to sitting shoulder to shoulder with your thighs and arms touching. Others respond better to sitting on your lap rather than facing you.

Body contact is a good substitute for facial expression in cases where using strong facial expression intensifies your child's emotions.

This is particularly common amongst highly sensitive children. Body contact often gives them the security that they need more effectively than facial expressions.

Facial Expression

Mirror his facial expressions- when he smiles, smile, when he frowns, you can frown. This technique is particularly helpful when your child is expressing a strong emotion - like anger or excitement. It allows her to feel empathized with, heard and that you "feel" her. It also gives your child the opportunity to pick up on and then successfully mirror YOUR inner calm.

Verbal Expression

Ensure that your tone of voice is one that is sincere. Don't make light of what he is saying, regardless of how hilarious or downright petty it seems to you.

It is important to her, or it's bothering her, so we want to express to your child that you are there with her and it bothers you too.

If you have any questions on these tools, feel free to send them our way by replying to this email. We'd love to hear from you!

Good luck and wishing you all the best,

Miriam

P.S.For more guidance, proven tools techniques that are designed to work with your child's brain wiring, you can take a look at our parenting toolkit here.

OR click here for access to an EXCLUSIVE subscribers-only 'sneak peak' page where you can get the first video to all Bloom toolkits FREE!

P.P.S. Spaces for our upcoming FREE mini-course are filling up! Reply to this email 'SIGN UP' to get on the waitlist and reserve your seat.