Are coincidences real?

Fernando Kaskais

Apr 3

Photo by Ernst Haas/Getty

I am an unequivocal rationalist and yet I still want to see something strange and wonderful in life's weird coincidences

Paul Broks is an English neuropsychologist-turned-freelance writer. His work has appeared in Prospect, The Times and The Guardian, among others. He is the author of Into the Silent Land (2002) and The Darker the Night, the Brighter the Stars: a Neuropsychologist's Odyssey Through Consciousness (2018). He lives in Bath, UK.

In the summer of 2021, I experienced a cluster of coincidences, some of which had a distinctly supernatural feel. Here's how it started. I keep a journal and record dreams if they are especially vivid or strange. It doesn't happen often, but I logged one in which my mother's oldest friend, a woman called Rose, made an appearance to tell me that she (Rose) had just died. She'd had another stroke, she said, and that was it. Come the morning, it occurred to me that I didn't know whether Rose was still alive. I guessed not. She'd had a major stroke about 10 years ago and had gone on to suffer a series of minor strokes, descending into a sorry state of physical incapacity and dementia.

I mentioned the dream to my partner over breakfast, but she wasn't much interested. We were staying in the Midlands at the time in the house where I'd spent my later childhood years. The place had been unoccupied for months. My father, Mal, was long gone, and my mother, Doreen, was in a care home drifting inexorably through the advanced stages of Alzheimer's. We'd just sold the property we'd been living in, and there would be a few weeks' delay in getting access to our future home, so the old house was a convenient place to stay in the meantime.

I gave no further thought to my strange dream until, a fortnight later, we returned from the supermarket to find that a note had been pushed through the letterbox. It was addressed to my mother, and was from Rose's daughter, Maggie. Her mother, she wrote, had died 'two weeks ago'. The funeral would be the following week. I handed the note to my partner and reminded her of my dream. 'Weird,' she said, and carried on unloading the groceries. Yes, weird. I can't recall the last time Rose had entered my thoughts, and there she was, turning up in a dream with news of her own death.

So, what am I to make of this? Here's one interpretation. Rose died, and her disembodied spirit felt the need to tell me and found its way into my dream. Perhaps she had first tried to contact Doreen, but for one reason or another – the impenetrable wreckage of a damaged brain? – couldn't get through. Here's another interpretation. The whole chain of events occurred by sheer coincidence, a chance concatenation of happenings with no deeper significance. There's nothing at all supernatural about it.

If you ask me which of those two interpretations I prefer, it would, unequivocally, be the second. But here's the thing. There is a part of me that, despite myself, wants to entertain the possibility that the world really does have supernatural dimensions. It's the same part of me that gets spooked by ghost stories, and that would feel uneasy about spending a night alone in a morgue. I don't believe the Universe contains supernatural forces, but I feel it might. This is because the human mind has fundamentally irrational elements. I'd go as far as to say that magical thinking forms the basis of selfhood. Our experience of ourselves and other people is essentially an act of imagination that can't be sustained through wholly rational modes of thought. We see the light of consciousness in another's eyes and, irresistibly, imagine some ethereal self behind those eyes, humming with feelings and thoughts, when in fact there's nothing but the dark and silent substance of the brain. We imagine something similar behind our own eyes. It's a necessary illusion, rooted deep in our evolutionary history. Coincidence, or rather the experience of coincidence, triggers magical thoughts that are equally deep-rooted.

The term 'coincidence' covers a wide range of phenomena, from the cosmic (in a total solar eclipse, the disk of the Moon and the disk of the Sun by sheer chance appear to have precisely the same diameter) to the personal and parochial (my granddaughter has the same birthday as my late wife). On the human, experiential, scale, a broad distinction can be drawn between serendipity – timely, but unplanned, discoveries or development of events – and what the 20th-century Lamarckian biologist and coincidence collector Paul Kammerer called seriality, which he defined as 'a lawful recurrence of the same or similar things or events … in time and space'...

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https://aeon.co/essays/how-should-we-understand-the-weird-experience-of-coincidence