"Magic comes from the heart, from your feelings, your deepest expressions of desire. That's why black magic is so easy—it comes from lust, from fear and anger, from things that are easy to feed and make grow. The sort I do is harder. It comes from something deeper than that, a truer and purer source—harder to tap, harder to keep, but ultimately more elegant, more powerful. My magic. That was at the heart of me. It was a manifestation of what I believed, what I lived. It came from my desire to see to it that someone stood between the darkness and the people it would devour. It came from my love of a good steak, from the way I would sometimes cry at a good movie or a moving symphony. From my life. From the hope that I could make things better for someone else, if not always for me. ~Jim Butcher, Fool Moon
ragic is the word which comes to mind when I look back at the past, my past, high school experience. Tragic in the sense I was placed in a setting of infinite potential and watched daily that potential be squandered to create a human character to match the great aspirations so many had. In all fairness I also saw he same condition extend beyond the borders of the high school, out into the community itself. In hindsight it is not surprising the elders viewed much of the youth with disappointment and concern and yet found material enough to work with to try and shape some kind of decent inner character development among those toxic filled personalities mixed among the healthy ones engaged in naturally attempting to make their lives better. Looking back in hindsight, the church I was part of did more harm than good which explains why I eventually disconnected myself from the toxic misma. To remain meant I would die there. The improvement was almost immediate. I am often asked if I ever consider going back, and my answer is not seriously. It is like answering if one would consider becoming a prisoner in a concentration camp again. While the experience impacted and shaped me, it is not one to be repeated ever again. The few people I keep connected with from that period, are the ones who have put in the work to retain their humanity toward themselves and others, and continue to fine tune it. The rest, well I am not a total hermit but I am incontrol of how much contact I have and energy I invest in those encounters. Eventually their orbits will remove themselves from mine and leave me in tranquility. In all honesty they are simply a distraction, as the inner world of my life is the center of creation where atoms collide, the universe expands and collapses and transformation takes place both on minute and grand scales. The inner life drives our outer existence in this world, our skin and muscle, bones and organs are just expression of that inner mystery of who we are as a person. The good and the bad, the light and the dark, the sugar and the poison.
sychology at its very roots, pertains to the study and care of the soul. It does so without making deity mandatory in the process but does not discount the role deity can play in the process. The Individual ultimately is responsible for their actions, beliefs, thoughts, inner life and all the positive and negative therein. Including all the sugar and poison contained within the human psyche. The Devil doesn't make them do anything and the God(s)/Goddesses don't either. Ultimately the human individual has to live with themselves on this earth, in the present life time, within an undetermined life span and it is up to the individual to make that moment count fully, and to live life to the fullest. In youth and adult years, many fail or in reality refuse, to meet this opportunity and continue to stagnate under the illusion of moving forward with their lives, only to find Adult A is really still Child A at the heart of it all. In many tribal societies there are multilevel consequences for this to happen, because it means the person is moving backwards, toward living an illusion as opposed to living in the creative moment. The obtainment of age is not a guarantee for wisdom, but it is a guarantee for life experience which can contribute to wisdom if it is understood. Deity is not displaced in this process of being human, but rather becomes integral as to who we are as human beings because, like everything else around us, they/it/him/her become part of our life as human beings. Our belief does not define their existence, they are present independently of us as are the creatures we call Angels, Fey, Sidhe, Djinn, etc... Our perceptions of such vary from person to person, just as our life experiences vary from person to person. In a communal setting, often shared perceptions or beliefs are what bring people together, for better or worse (including the pagan community who can be just as fundamentalist as their traditional counterparts). Many in both camps have come to the end of their allotted time victims of their own fundamentalism, leaving the seeds of pain and suffering in their wake as well as their share of wounded souls.
onsequently, from my field, humanity learns they are not their own master but rather driven by the unconscious mind and all that resides therein. Hence their first task is to become aware of the unconscious and bring it to heel. Not a battle of light vs dark, or good vs evil, but awareness vs. ignorance and an understanding on oneself. The unconscious(really the shadow) will never be defeated, at the best one will acquire an uneasy truce with it and at the worst inner civil war. It is not battle of Ego and ID as Freud would suggest. It is far beyond this. The unconscious can be brought to heel, but it needs to be watched and guarded for therein is the shadow who has no sense of self preservation and who the real struggle is with as the unconscious is simply a depository of all that is unaccessible consciously (including past experiences of the human race). One can see this played out throughout human history, in the myths/religions, sociology, technology, economics and empire building throughout the world including the present environmental crisis humanity undeniably faces and yet denies in the same breath. In the literary world fantasy has established a foothold into the modern world, Urban Fantasy, Steampunk and others. Elves, Dragons, Wizards, Fey have found a literary place in the modern world and I suspect a growing revival of personal presence for many since art provides a gateway to the unconscious, as do the world of dreams, making these idea, archetypes more relevant to our lives. We are in some aspect at the point of a homecoming, welcoming refugees of the unseen world, our world, which we have shut out for so long to find a place in our psyche where they are considered part of the natural world, part of our own psychological makeup
agic as a mean of healing was a sticking point for many who sought it for reasons many time different. Dreams of controlling weather, defeating demon hordes, or summoning personal dragons was all consuming to them but aiding in the healing of the impact of a sweeping sickness, or encroaching tainted water supply, left them disappointment and unfulfilled. Most had never walked a battle field among the dead and wounded or even seen battle and did not understand the glorification of such meant unthinkable destruction and sorrow in their wake. After the heat and fire of battle one also had to deal with the aftermath of the maimed humanity, the tortured earth and winds of sickness which often followed battle, draining each and every person with magic to the breaking point, knowing those healed most likely would be sent back into battle again to suffer again, or even meet death. Part of the training of course was growing up and out of the misperceptions of what it meant to have magic. It wasn't all battle, most did not even see battle in their lifetime let alone demons or dragons other then out of a tome of magic. Controlling the weather was never an option or even a reality, it was forbidden to try due to the dangerousness of such a feat and disastrous result which always came with such efforts. One might create a shield against the rain but not stop it. Many wizards used a cloak or umbrella. Still, it was no small feat to stand ready to defend the defenseless against those powers greater than themselves. It took vigilance and deep understanding both of oneself and of day to day awareness of the rhythms of living and the countryside, and the weave of magic as a whole.
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