We live in a youth obsessed culture in which people seem to go to great lengths to deny the reality that not only do our bodies age, but at some point, being ephemeral creatures, we sooner or later must die. Perhaps because in preceding generations people often died at home, or religion and the belief in an afterlife held greater sway, the fear of death, or even the discussion of the topic was less taboo than it appears to be today. Our society appears intent on denying the long-held tradition of memento mori.
Given what I do as physician, I am daily exposed to people for whom life changes in an instant by the arrival of a blood test or imaging result to announce that their days have just become numbered. Given my own and friends' demographics, reminders of the brevity of life are not something I can avoid. I thus read with interest an article in the BBC News by Mattias Tranberg, one of their correspondents, that I now share with you below.
Simon Boas, who wrote a candid account of living with cancer, passed away on July 15, at the age of 47. In a recent BBC interview, the former aid worker told the reporter: "My pain is under control and I'm terribly happy—it sounds weird to say, but I'm as happy as I've ever been in my life."
There is quite a lot of research suggesting that fear of death is at the
unconscious center of being human. William James, an American philosopher, called the knowledge that we must die "the worm at the core" of the human condition.
Boas shared some of the insights that helped him come to accept his situation. He mentioned the importance of enjoying life and prioritizing meaningful experiences, suggesting that acknowledging death can enhance our appreciation for life.
Despite the pain and difficulties, Boas seemed cheerful, hoping his attitude
would support his wife and parents during the difficult times ahead.
Boas's words echo the Roman philosopher Seneca, who advised that "to have lived long enough depends neither upon our years nor upon our days, but upon our minds."
A more recent thinker expressing similar sentiments is the psychiatrist Viktor Frankl who, after surviving Auschwitz, wrote Man's Search for Meaning (1946) in which he lay the groundwork for a form of existential psychotherapy, with the focus of discovering meaning in any kind of circumstance. Its most recent adaptation is meaning-centered psychotherapy, which offers people with cancer a way to improve their sense of meaning.
In two recent studies, in Palliative and Supportive Care and the American
Journal of Hospice and Palliative Care, people approaching death were asked
what constitutes happiness for them. Common themes in both studies were
social connections, enjoying simple pleasures such as being in nature, having a positive mindset, and a general shift in focus from seeking pleasure to finding meaning and fulfillment as their illness progressed.
With this as an introduction, I will share with you in my next post an answer to the question, "Is There Such a Thing as a Good Death, and How Does One Achieve It?"
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