The Fourth Quality of the Heart

Fernando Kaskais

Jun 1

Artwork by Eugene Mymrin / Getty

A practice for developing equanimity

Equanimity is part of a group of four, which I'll call the "qualities of the heart." This group is made up of benevolence or lovingkindness, compassion, joy, and equanimity. Benevolence is a very natural, basic wish for well-being that we have when the heart is not hindered. It's a basic wish that we have for others or for ourselves, and when this wish meets what is difficult, it becomes compassion—a particular kind of love or care in the face of what is challenging. When benevolence meets beauty or success or goodness, naturally it rejoices; it becomes joy. Therefore, here we already have three of these four qualities of the heart. The fourth quality is equanimity. Some people describe it as a stability of heart or mind that can meet what is difficult without falling apart, or lashing out, or closing down. It's the heart that is able to be with what is difficult and is also able to be with what is pleasant without fear of losing it, without wanting to defend, keep, or get more of what we have. Another word that comes to mind for equanimity is composure. When we're equanimous, we maintain access to our inner resources and to our balance of mind.

These four qualities are very important to one another. When they play together, they play well. Lovingkindness puts us in touch with our basic goodness. Compassion is the capacity to see what is difficult and to be with it. Joy calls to us saying, "Hey, come on this side of reality too; come see what is beautiful." If they were separate from one another, I think they would become diminished. We'd see only what we like or what works for us. But compassion and joy together make space for what is broken, or rickety, or imperfect. And equanimity gives breadth and depth and duration to all these qualities.

I like to think of myself as benevolent, but I notice sometimes that I'm benevolent so long as things go my way. When they don't work out as I want them to, my benevolence quickly goes out the window. So equanimity supports and strengthens the other three qualities.

Equanimity requires a strong, courageous intention to stay in balanced contact with what we face.

Courage is another quality associated with equanimity. In French the word for "heart" is coeur. Equanimity requires a strong, courageous intention to stay in balanced contact with what we face. It's the highest quality in Buddhist psychology because it's linked to insight and wisdom. Equanimity is not just a decision that we can will into being: "Let me be equanimous, right now, in the face of this difficulty." It's based on a deep understanding of the impermanent, unstable, changing, unreliable, and conditional nature of reality. Through insight, through meeting these characteristics of reality intimately and living with them with sensitivity to the changing nature of things, we cultivate stability. But first we have to experience the fleeting nature of events and phenomena. Deeply understanding that things do break leads to a stable heart.

The Practice

I invite you to establish your posture and to then bring your intention to the foreground: "I'm really interested in keeping balance of mind; keeping some kind of calm. I'm really interested in seeing if it's possible to keep the mind stable and balanced and not fall into worry or fear." Maybe you want to learn how to hold things with composure and courage. Having this intention, this curiosity to see if doing this is possible, take a moment to feel your body. What does it feel like to be in this body right now? Can whatever you feel be OK? Can you know this body and this mind, this heart, just as they are? This is an invitation to practice equanimity. Can whatever is be OK as it is, just for now?

Explore this quality of equanimity by bringing to mind things that are unresolved or that are slightly difficult. You could first think of a friend who is experiencing some challenge in an aspect of their life and see whether you can hold them in your mind with care, with calm. This is the step before trying to find a solution to a problem or taking action. Think of someone who may be experiencing trouble in a relationship or health or work or finances. See whether you can recognize and quietly name what is happening. A phrase that could be useful here is, "This is what is happening for you right now. There is this difficulty in your life." It's a factual recognition of what is happening—not turning away, not blaming, judging, worrying; just holding or learning how to hold this truth. "This is how it is for you right now."...

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